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From: MSN NicknameEagle_wng  (Original Message)    Sent: 4/20/2005 3:20 AM
15.4.2005 19:23 MSK
Zeks, food is served!
On 11 April, the Russian government’s thoughts turned to its convicts. The not underfed officials under Prime Minister Mikhail Fradkov issued Decree 205 on “Minimal food and material norms for convicts”.

The authorities have shown a certain generosity, offering prisoners 550 grams of bread per day, along with 90g of meat, and 100g of fish. To this high-calorie diet the government adds 550g of potatoes and 250g of other vegetables. The convict can then wash this down with half a glass of milk (100ml), and sweeten his bitter life with 30g of sugar (5 sugar lumps). To ensure life does not become too sweet, the prisoner is allowed 20g of salt. Extra delicacies are 30g macaroni, 35g margarine, 20g vegetable oil, 10g Soya flour, and 10g dried fruit. Further mini-doses include 0.1g bay leaf, 0.2g mustard powder, 3g tomato paste, and 5g flour.

Incidentally, in the hungry and undemocratic Soviet era, prisoners received 650 grams of bread, 100g more than in “democratic” Russia.

No doubt there were fierce debates in the government how many eggs prisoners should be allowed per week. Any number probably would have seemed excessive. Yet they still managed to agree on...two.

And tea, the standard drink of the zek? Their government solved this problem too, and defined their allowance as just one gram per day (half a standard tea bag).

These norms affect the male prison and camp population. Evidently caring for the beauty of the female prisoners, the government decided to reduce the diet, deducting 100g of bread, 5g of margarine and salt, and 50g of potato.

Those on remand receive even less. The logic of the government is clear: those on remand do not work. Why be generous?

Those prisoners over 1.90m in height receive an extra meal, but only if working, and anyway it is only a half meal. This is given upon instruction by the prison doctor, who of course is the only person able to correctly measure the height of a prisoner.

The authorities did not forget the prisoners’ hygiene. Each receives 30g of toothpaste per month (less than half of the smallest tube), 200g of soap for clothing, and 50g of normal soap (half a bar). Women prisoners receive more: 100g – a whole bar! To tell the truth, women do not receive disposable razors, with men receiving six per month. If able to skilfully sharpen them on a brick, the prisoner may make it cleanly shaven through the month.

Probably women will not be too affected by the absence of razors, as the authorities give them something the male prisoners do not receive: something called “means of personal hygiene”. Evidently, Prime Minister Fradkov, as a result of his inherent shyness, is unable to name things according to their true names, and sign a document containing the words tampons and padding. Ask wives and girlfriends whether ten per month suffice for a decent life.

Crowning the list of state generosity towards prisoners is the monthly allocation of toilet paper. The government unravels 25 metres per prisoner per month, which equates to around 200 sheets – single layered, naturally. Each person can decide whether this is a lot or a little. Alas, when considering how much food the government deems sufficient, the prisoner would hardly require more.

Alexander PODRABINEK
http://www.prima-news.ru/eng/news/articles/2005/4/15/31858.html


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